Construction started at the age of six with news of my parent’s divorce. Uncertainty and confusion left me wondering if love was real.
The search began. To feel wanted, accepted, and secure. The easiest way was through a boy. He liked me and made me feel important. Until I wasn’t anymore and he found someone better. This happened over and over and over.With each rejection, lie, or disappointment, I picked up a brick, laid down some mortar, and started to build a wall.
It took years to let someone in. I finally opened my heart only to have it broken worse than before. I sat in tears ready to lay another brick but realized how lonely I had become. The wall that had once made me feel safe had turned into a prison, keeping anyone from getting in or out. I distanced myself from friends, family, and even God.
I don’t know what your bricks represent. They may be part of who you are but they don’t have to keep you from having meaningful relationships. I can almost guarantee that you will get let down by others and you will do the same. Choose to open up anyway.
A Little Bird
A little bird told me that your uncle’s third aunt twice removed on your mother’s side said, that you said, I was stuck up.
Rumors. It is very easy to get caught up in listening to and sharing stories about others. I cannot tell you how many relationships are ruined before they even get started. We don’t realize that in gossiping about one person to another, we are painting a picture.
If someone shares details about their life and you take it upon yourself to re-share without their permission, not only do you lose credibility, you also become known as the person who can’t keep a secret.
Don’t be that bird.
Most girls cannot wait to get boobs. For several of my friends the day came and went, but for the rest of us is an invention called the push-up bra. It was awesome! You put it on and instantly it added a couple cup sizes.
One time I was playing soccer and the ball hit me really hard in the chest. I didn’t even flinch because all that padding cushioned the blow…literally. I acted like it never happened. It wasn’t until my early twenties that the bra started to bother me. Aside from the fact that they are extremely uncomfortable, they are also a lie.
Push-up bras remind me of dating. We aim to put a perfect self forward and end up losing ourselves. The goal in dating should be marriage, but by trying to hide every flaw, the process becomes exhausting, stressful and pointless. Eventually, your true self will come out and you’ll have wasted all that time wearing a mask.
Not everyone is going to be attracted to you so stop trying so hard to get noticed in the wrong ways. Your person will learn to accept and maybe even love the flaws. Do both you and your future spouse a favor and be yourself…minus all the extra padding.